DEPRESSION

Depression. It’s even a depressing word. It’s starting to be somewhat of a mainstream topic – with many people associating it with black and white photos of themselves staring into the distance or a sad quote about how shit their life is.

But that’s not true.

It’s not “cool” to have depression. In fact, it’s the most baffling, difficult, frustrating illness ever.

The hardest part is how you feel towards the people around you.

You LOVE your family, yet when they come over you feel on edge.

You LOVE your friends, but always make up an excuse about why you can’t go meet them.

You LOVE your partner, but some days it’s way too hard to pick yourself up out of bed even to go and sit in the living room with him.

It’s not their fault. But it’s not your fault either.

The worst part is when you sit there feeling soooo lonely…but you don’t want to see anyone. It turns you to the complete opposite of who you once were. Going out with your friends or attending a family meal used to be so much fun – you used to look forward to these occasions; but now you dread them. For days leading up to the event you worry about how you’re going to get out of this. "Should I say I’m sick? Should I say I have other plans?” ANYTHING so that you can stay home and lock yourself in your room doing nothing. It steals your fun, your energy and your motivation. All you want to do is sit there, by yourself, every single day.

Its difficult to even face up to going to the Doctor to try and get help. “How do I show him I’m depressed? Will he even believe me? What if I smile – will he think I’m ok when I’m not?”

So you just don’t go. Instead you think you’ll talk to someone. Your friends, your family, your partner; whoever. But then the voice in your head starts again, “they know you’re not depressed. How can you be depressed when you’ve been happy the whole time we’re here? You haven’t cried. You haven’t tried to kill yourself. Why are you trying to get attention?”

It speaks to you.

Stops you from doing things you want to do, and things you want to say.

Makes you feel worthless. Pathetic. A complete idiot.

So depression is not fashionable or cool. It doesn’t make you clever. It sucks the life out of you and makes you feel like you’re alone when in reality it’s you who is ostracising yourself. It is not something you want in your life.

But it’s time to change. It’s time we started talking about it and starting the road to better yourself. Building confidence that was knocked down. Talking about your problems and finding out how to face them. Understanding that you aren’t a bad person like you think you are. Getting rid of the voice in your head.

Go out. Have fun. Socialise. Enjoy your life! Live, laugh & LOVE.

I know I need to.