LOSING MY MEMORY

"Pictures fade but memories last a lifetime"

Well then I hope my photos will last as long as possible because the latter isn't really working quite right.

I've always been a 'blonde', very ditsy/head in the clouds kinda girl anyway so my memory has never been brilliant. People find it funny and endearing and maybe once upon a time I laughed it off too but this is becoming increasingly difficult.

When I first got sick I instantly noticed a change in my memory, I started becoming forgetful - VERY forgetful - my childhood memories were becoming more distant and by the time I had come out of the consultation room I didn't have a clue what the Doctor had just told me.

And then AFTER surgery it got even worse!

I can't remember the last time I remembered a doctor's appointment. Hell I even missed one 3 days ago and it's the most frustrating thing because they are so important! My nain tells me to ring someone and within 30 seconds it's disappeared. The one I struggle with most is mid-conversation I totally forget what I'm talking about and actually have to ask the other person "what was I just saying again?" again it's laughed off by them but inside I'm so embarrassed about how unprofessional or rude I come across when I say it, worrying they think I'm just dis-interested in the conversation.

It has reached boiling point.

I can't remember what conversation it was or even what the hell we were talking about, but I was speaking to Baz the other day - I'm sure we were talking about something that had happened the day before - and no matter how hard I tried to concentrate trying to remember what had slipped my mind, but it just wasn't coming to me.

I cried. I was embarrassed. I was scared.

I try to write everything down now, especially passwords (you have no idea how many times I've had to reset my passwords lol!!) but I hope slowly things will come back to me.

If anyone has the same problem and have any tips whatsoever on trying to re-build those missing pieces, I would be so happy if you could email me at: bethfrazermusic@gmail.com

I (and my brain) will love you forever!